Metaphysical = beyond the physical

I am going to start off with the following excerpt from one of the first articles in my inner child healing section. It lists some of the reasons that it is so important to feel the feelings.

Feeling the Feelings - grief / emotional energy release

"Attempting to suppress emotions is dysfunctional; it does not work. Emotions are energy: E-motion = energy in motion. It is supposed to be in motion, it was meant to flow.

Emotions have a purpose, a very good reason to be - even those emotions that feel uncomfortable. Fear is a warning, anger is for protection, tears are for cleansing and releasing. These are not negative emotional responses! We were taught to react negatively to them. It is our reaction that is dysfunctional and negative, not the emotion." "The way to stop reacting out of our inner children is to release the stored emotional energy from our childhoods by doing the grief work that will heal our wounds. The only effective, long term way to clear our emotional process - to clear the inner channel to Truth which exists in all of us - is to grieve the wounds which we suffered as children. The most important single tool, the tool which is vital to changing behavior patterns and attitudes in this healing transformation, is the grief process. The process of grieving.

We are all carrying around repressed pain, terror, shame, and rage energy from our childhoods, whether it was twenty years ago or fifty years ago. We have this grief energy within us even if we came from a relatively healthy family, because this society is emotionally dishonest and dysfunctional."

Quote from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

Emotions are energy that is manifested in our bodies. They exist below the neck. They are not thoughts (although attitudes set up our emotional reactions.) In order to do the emotional healing it is vital to start paying attention to where energy is manifesting in our bodies. Where is there tension, tightness? Could that "indigestion" really be some feelings? Are those "butterflies" in my stomach telling me something emotionally?

When I am working with someone and they start having some feelings coming up, the first thing I have to tell them is to keep breathing. Most of us have learned a variety of ways to control our emotions and one of them is to stop breathing and close our throats. That is because grief in the form of sadness accumulates in our upper chest and breathing into it helps some of it to escape - so we learned to stop breathing at those moments when we start getting emotional, when our voice starts breaking.

Western civilization has for many years been way out of balance towards the left brain way of thinking - concrete, rational, what you see is all there is (this was in reaction to earlier times of being out of balance the other way, towards superstition and ignorance.) Because emotional energy can not be seen or measured or weighed ("The x-ray shows you've got 5 pounds of grief in there.") emotions were discounted and devalued. This has started to change somewhat in recent years but most of us grew up in a society that taught us that being too emotional was a bad thing that we should avoid. (Certain cultures / subcultures give more permission for emotions but those are usually out of balance to the other extreme of allowing the emotions to rule - the goal is balance: between mental and emotional, between intuitive and rational.)

Emotions are a vital part of our being for several reasons.

1. Because it is energy and energy cannot just disappear. The emotional energy generated by the circumstances of our childhood and early life does not go away just because we were forced to deny it. It is still trapped in our body - in a pressurized, explosive state, as a result of being suppressed. If we don't learn how to release it in a healthy way it will explode outward or implode back in on us. Eventually it will transform into some other form - such as cancer.

2. As long as we have pockets of pressurized emotional energy that we have to avoid dealing with - those emotional wounds will run our lives. We use food, cigarettes, alcohol and drugs, work, religion, exercise, meditation, television, etc., to help us keep suppressing that energy. To help us keep ourselves focused on something else, anything else, besides the emotional wounds that terrify us. The emotional wounds are what cause obsession and compulsion, are what the "critical parent" voice works so hard to keep us from dealing with.

3. Our emotions tell us who we are - our Soul communicates with us through emotional energy vibrations. Truth is an emotional energy vibrational communication from our Soul on the Spiritual Plane to our being/spirit/soul on this physical plane - it is something that we feel in our heart/our gut, something that resonates within us.

Our problem has been that because of our unhealed childhood wounds it has been very difficult to tell the difference between an intuitive emotional Truth and the emotional truth that comes from our childhood wounds. When one of our buttons is pushed and we react out of the insecure, scared little kid inside of us (or the angry/rage filled kid, or the powerless/helpless kid, etc.) then we are reacting to what our emotional truth was when we were 5 or 9 or 14 - not to what is happening now. Since we have been doing that all of our lives, we learned not to trust our emotional reactions (and got the message not to trust them in a variety of ways when we were kids.)

4. We are attracted to people that feel familiar on an energetic level - which means (until we start clearing our emotional process) people that emotionally / vibrationally feel like our parents did when we were very little kids. At a certain point in my process I realized that if I met a woman who felt like my soul mate, that the chances were pretty huge that she was one more unavailable woman that fit my pattern of being attracted to someone who would reinforce the message that I wasn't good enough, that I was unlovable. Until we start releasing the hurt, sadness, rage, shame, terror - the emotional grief energy - from our childhoods we will keep having dysfunctional relationships.

. . . . . . The more we are able to feel and release the feelings / emotional energy, the more clearly we can tune into the emotional energy that is Truth - and Love, Light, Joy, Beauty - coming from The Source Energy." - Feeling the Feelings - grief / emotional energy release

Here is a quote from Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in the Light Book 2: A Dysfunctional Relationship with Life Chapter 12: Codependency in New Age Movement. Within it is a quote from my book that shows how strongly I believe it is necessary to own our feelings - as well as a reference to the emotions as energy that exist on the etheric plane in the emotional body.

"New Age and alternative healers, Spiritual Teachers, self help gurus, etc., who have not done their emotional healing and enlarged their subconscious intellectual paradigm enough to consciously stop empowering polarity and shame emotionally as well as intellectually, are set up to be trapped in their codependency just as traditional mental health practitioners are limited by the emotionally dishonest beliefs of dysfunctional civilization.
" . . . . . . . not only does traditional science, medicine, and psychology discount emotions - treat them as a chemical reaction or an extension of thought, but many of the so called New Age teachers do the same. Emotions are, on one level, chemical reactions - just as on another level, our emotional reactions are very much influenced by our mental attitudes. But emotions are also energy that exists in a very real way on the etheric plane in the emotional body. To discount the level in which emotions are energy is very dysfunctional in my belief. To discount the emotional energy that was generated in our childhood, and still exists in our being, is to discount our own experiences and being - to say nothing of being very dangerous to our physical and mental health.

It is very attractive for people to believe that they can evolve spiritually without doing their grief work. Emotions are messy, especially the old repressed ones that can feel so overwhelming. It is natural and normal for human beings to want to do things the easier, softer way. So, many people want to hear someone tell them that it is possible to become enlightened without healing emotionally. Many of those so called experts will even teach that if one is feeling the emotions then one is doing something wrong.

I believe that such teachings are inaccurate. I believe that our emotions are an important and vital part of our being that needs to be own and honored. I believe that fear is a teacher that helps us move toward Love, that helps us to learn how to love ourselves. I do not believe that, in and of itself, it is wrong or bad or the opposite of love. Our relationship with it can cause it to be very dysfunctional - which is why we need to own it so we can change our relationship with it. The reality of being human is that this experience is really scary sometime. I am saying that is OK - that it is not shameful or unevolved to feel fear." - New Age Misinterpretations of Metaphysical Truth
Reiki, energy healing, crystals, body work, breath work, dance/movement, art therapy, meditation, yoga, etc., are all wonderful tools that can be very helpful in the healing process - but unless we consciously own our feelings, our grief and rage and terror from childhood, we are not owning our self and our experiences in this lifetime.
"Far too many spiritual practices are used to deny feelings instead of owning and releasing them. Far too many New Age practitioners and teachers give people the false message that 'negative' emotions can be transformed energetically without ever really owning and feeling them.

There are many energetic modalities that are wonderful tools in the healing process - but they are tools, they are not the total solution. If we do not own the emotions and do the grief and rage work, we are not honoring and respecting the emotional part of our being.

The emotional work is messy. It is terrifying. Many people will do whatever they can to avoid it. That is normal and human - it is not bad or shameful. But it is dysfunctional - it doesn't work

"We can intellectually throw out false beliefs. We can intellectually remember and embrace the Truth of ONENESS and Light and Love. But we cannot integrate Spiritual Truths into our day-to-day human existence, in a way which allows us to substantially change the dysfunctional behavior patterns that we had to adopt to survive, until we deal with our emotional wounds. Until we deal with the subconscious emotional programming from our childhoods.

We cannot learn to Love without honoring our Rage!

We cannot allow ourselves to be Truly Intimate with ourselves or anyone else without owning our Grief.

We cannot clearly reconnect with the Light unless we are willing to own and honor our experience of the Darkness.

We cannot fully feel the Joy unless we are willing to feel the Sadness.

We need to do our emotional healing, to heal our wounded souls, in order to reconnect with our Souls on the highest vibrational levels. In order to reconnect with the God-Force that is Love and Light, Joy and Truth."

Quote from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

Intellectually learning what healthy behavior is, or just remembering Spiritual Truth, does not heal our fear of intimacy - or the core place within us where we feel shame about our being. We need to own our emotional wounds to own our self. Reiki or crystals or any of the wonderful tools available to us can be aids in the process - but they cannot replace going through the process.

We cannot learn to Truly accept and Love the person we are - Truly own our True Magnificent Spiritual essence - without being willing to heal our human emotional wounds, without owning our personal grief from this lifetime.

" It is necessary to own and honor the child who we were in order to Love the person we are. And the only way to do that is to own that child's experiences, honor that child's feelings, and release the emotional grief energy that we are still carrying around."

Quote from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls
- Attack on America - A Spiritual Healing Perspective Chapter 6
We learned how to relate to self, to life, and to other people in early childhood from people who were wounded in their childhood. To think that we can learn to Truly Love our self without ever owning our childhood experience is pretty silly in my opinion. It was incredibly painful for us to come into human body in the Spiritually hostile, emotionally dishonest and abusive, shame based, patriarchal environment of modern civilization. It had a very traumatic effect on our perspective of, and relationship with, our self. We need to consciously heal that relationship with self in order to Truly own our connection to Self - to the Spirit, to The Source." - Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in the Light Book 2: A Dysfunctional Relationship with Life Chapter 12: Codependency in New Age Movement


On my biography page I share a bit about the origins of my book - and the reality that it wasn't the first writing I did about the Dance of Wounded Souls. The first writing I did was in 1988 when I started writing a Magical, Mystical Spiritual Fable that was the Universe's way of helping to start exploring this metaphysical stuff. I was writing that "far out" metaphysical fable at the same time I was doing my inner child healing and codependency recovery and saw them pretty much as two different things. It was when they came together in some public talks I did in 1991 that Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls was born. Prior to writing the True Nature of Love series in 1999, I had mostly tried to avoid getting into "far out" metaphysical stuff in what I was posting on my web site and limit it to the subscription area of my site. In the the first of two excerpts below from an article in that series, I use a quote from that Fable - which I refer to as the first book of a Trilogy (a trilogy that will never be completed I know now) - and even kind of apologized for getting so far out in that writing.

"Many of the expressions that are in common usage in the language of human interrelationship are incredibly accurate on multiple levels. One such expression is 'giving your power away.' If we are not clear in our relationship with self, if we are reacting to the definitions of self that we learned in childhood, then we are giving power away both literally and figuratively on multiple levels.

The level that most people are not aware of, and that is important for the focus of this column, is energetically. When we give power away to other people because our relationship with self is dysfunctional, we actually allow cords of energy to tie us to those people. These cords (ribbons, cables, tethers, threads, strands) of energy exist on the Etheric plane - which is where the Life Force energy runs through the chakra system.

We can literally be drained of our Life Force by these dysfunctional connections to other people. All of us learned to allow ourselves to both be drained of Life Force by others as well as to steal Life Force energy from others to survive.

We need to steal Life Force energy from others because we are blocked from clearly accessing our own Life Force energy by our dysfunctional relationship with self. Because our inner channel is not clear. In clearing up our inner channel to tune into the higher vibrational emotional energy of Light, Love, Joy, and Truth, we are also accessing our own Life Force energy. (The Life Force energy and the vibrational range of Light, Love, Joy, Truth, and Beauty are not the same thing but they are intimately interrelated.)

So, when I talk about giving our power away on an energetic level, it is an actual drain of energy, of power. Our codependence/ego defense system is set up to help us survive by trying to keep us from being drained of power at the same time it tries to steal energy from outside sources. Since we cannot clearly access the Source energy we have available to us to within, we look externally for sources of power and energy.

Codependency is outer or external dependence. We are dependent on outer or external sources to feed us the energy we need to survive. We make people, places, and things and/or money, property and prestige the Higher Power that we look to as the source of our energy, our power.

We are attached to those things literally on an energetic level by the cords of energy that are created on the Etheric plane due to the relationship between the bodies of our being that exist on that plane - which includes our mental and emotional bodies.

(I am now going to use a quote from my Trilogy, and again a little later in this column a continuation of this quote as well as a quote from another article, that are part of my Joy2MeU Journal and are only available to subscribers of that Journal. I apologize for that to all of you that are not subscribers. This is not an attempt to get you to subscribe - although it would certainly be OK if you decided to do that - it is just the best way I can find to facilitate communicating what I am attempting to communicate here. For those of you who are not subscribers, there is plenty of material on this web site to focus on that will help you clear up your relationship with your self without having to understand the more metaphysical aspects of this life experience. In fact, many people focus on the metaphysical aspects as a way of avoiding doing the emotional healing - so sometimes it is best not to get too caught up in the metaphysical.)

"The holographic illusion which is the Physical plane is composed of multiple levels of illusions. The most basic illusion within the Physical plane is that substance and separation exist. They do not. Everything in the physical universe is composed of energy. This energy interacts to form energy fields. These energy fields interact according to energy patterns to form other energy fields, which in turn interact according to energy patterns to form other energy fields, which in turn interact . . . etc., etc. The interaction of the One energy produces energy fields on the sub-subatomic level. These energy fields interact to produce subatomic energy fields, which in turn combine/interact to produce the energy field that we call the atom. (Remember energy fields are formed by energy vortex interaction, and atoms are are little bundles of swirling energy.) These atoms interact/combine to form the energy field that is the molecule. Molecular energy fields interact to form every type of substance/matter which humans perceive.

All energy fields are temporary effects of energy vortex interaction. (Temporary is a relative term. Physicists measure the lifetime of some subatomic particles/energy fields in quintillionths of a seconds, while the planet Earth has existed for billions of years - both are temporary.) The energy patterns which govern these interactions are also energy fields in and of themselves. For example - the individual human mind is an energy field, but it is also an energy pattern that governs the flow of communications between a humans' Spiritual being and physical being, and within the seven bodies which make up the humans' being. (The seven bodies and the mind will be discussed later. Note that attitudes in the mind can block the flow of communication from the Soul because the mind is an energy pattern.)

Each energy field vibrates at certain frequencies, and is interrelated and interdependent with all other energy fields. Each letter in this sentence is an energy field composed of energy fields vibrating at certain frequencies, each combination of letters that forms a word, each combination of words that forms a sentence, etc., etc., etc. (Millions of atoms can go into making up a single letter - aren't you glad you asked.) Each word, each concept, each idea, is an energy field interacting according to energy patterns that are energy fields.

(Get the point? The bottom line is that nothing is what it appears to be. You are made up of the same subatomic, atomic, and molecular energy as the chair you are sitting in and the air you are breathing. Just bring to consciousness for a moment the fact that your physical body vehicle is composed of an uncountable number of energy fields interacting according to energy patterns. Just to imagine the number of energy fields interacting within your physical body at this moment is overwhelming. Now think of the number of energy fields and energy patterns that come into play when dealing with something outside of yourself, and then of course there is your emotional body and your mental body, etc. - and you wonder why relationships are so hard.) - The Dance of the Wounded Souls Trilogy Book 1 - "In The Beginning . . ." History of the Universe Part V

The fact that the mind is an energy field that is also an energy pattern of interaction is very important to realize. Communication from within (both internally between different parts of our being and from our spirit/Soul/Higher Power) and without - stimulation from our environment and everything/everyone in it - flows through the energy field that is the mind to our being.

Our experiential reality is determined by the interpretations of our mind - by the intellectual paradigm which we are using to define / determine / translate / explain our reality. The attitudes, definitions, and belief systems which we hold mentally dictate our emotional reactions. Attitudes, definitions, and beliefs determine perspective and expectation - which in turn dictates our relationships. Our relationships to our self, to life, to other people, to The God-Force / Goddess Energy / Great Spirit. Our relationships to our own emotions, bodies, gender, etc., are dictated by the attitudes, definitions, and beliefs that we are holding mentally / intellectually. And we acquired those mental constructs / ideas / concepts in early childhood from the emotional experiences, intellectual teachings, and role modeling of the beings around us. If we have not done our emotional healing so that we can get in touch with our subconscious intellectual programming then we are still reacting to that early childhood programming / intellectual paradigm even though we may not be aware of it consciously.

"The Truth is that the intellectual value systems, the attitudes, that we use in deciding what's right and wrong were not ours in the first place. We accepted on a subconscious and emotional level the values that were imposed on us as children. Even if we throw out those attitudes and beliefs intellectually as adults, they still dictate our emotional reactions. Even if, especially if, we live our lives rebelling against them. By going to either extreme - accepting them without question or rejecting them without consideration - we are giving power away."

"It was impossible to start Loving myself and trusting myself, impossible to start finding some peace within, until I started to change my perspective of, and my definitions of, who I was and what emotions it was okay for me to feel.

Enlarging my perspective means changing my definitions, the definitions that were imposed on me as a child about who I am and how to do this life business. In Recovery it has been necessary to change my definitions of, and my perspective of, almost everything. That was the only way that it was possible to start learning how to Love myself.

I spent most of my life feeling like I was being punished because I was taught that God was punishing and that I was unworthy and deserved to be punished. I had thrown out those beliefs about God and life on a conscious, intellectual level in my late teens - but in Recovery I was horrified to discover that I was still reacting to life emotionally based on those beliefs.

I realized that my perspective of life was being determined by beliefs that I had been taught as a child even though they were not what I believed as an adult."

Quotes from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

"I went home to do some writing and was pretty amazed at what it revealed. I realized that I was still reacting to life out of the religious programming of my childhood - even though I had thrown out that belief system on a conscious, intellectual level in my late teens and early twenties. The writing that I did that night helped me to recognize that my emotional programming was dictating my relationship with life even though it was not what I consciously believed.
I realized that the belief that "life was about sin and punishment and I was a sinner who deserved to be punished" was running my life. When I felt "bad" or "bad" things happened to me - I tried to blame it on others to keep from realizing how much I was hating myself for being flawed and defective, a sinner. When I felt good or good things happened I was holding my breath because I knew it would be taken away because I didn't deserve it. Often when things got too good I would sabotage it because I couldn't stand the suspense of waiting for god to take it away - which "he" would because I didn't deserve it.
I could suddenly see that I had been playing a game, with that punishing god I learned about in childhood, for all of my adult life. I tried not to show that I enjoyed or valued anything too much so that maybe god wouldn't notice and take it away. In other words, I could never relax and be in the moment in Joy or peace because the moment I showed that I was enjoying life god would step in to punish me." - Joy2MeU Journal Premier issue The Story of "Joy to You & Me"
We cannot get clearly in touch with the subconscious programming without doing the grief work. The subconscious intellectual programming is tied to the emotional wounds we suffered and many years of suppressing those feelings has also buried the attitudes, definitions, and beliefs that are connected to those emotional wounds. It is possible to get intellectually aware of some of them through such tools as hypnosis, or having a therapist or psychic or energy healer tell us they are there - but we cannot really understand how much power they carry without feeling the emotional context - and cannot change them without reducing the emotional charge / releasing the emotional energy tied to them. Knowing they are there will not make them go away."
"It does not make any difference what our conscious intellectual beliefs are as long as we are reacting energetically to old programming. That is why it is so vital to do the emotional healing. In order to clear our emotional body of the repressed emotional energy so that we can change the intellectual paradigm that is embedded in our mental body / mind, it is necessary to do the emotional healing. All of the intellectual knowledge of Spiritual Truth and healthy relationship behavior that we can acquire will not significantly transform the behavioral patterns that are being driven by the subconscious programming. We cannot heal our fear of intimacy so that we can open up to receiving Love without feeling the feelings. . . .
. . . . The power / energy / juice that we need comes from within - not from outside. People, places, and things can sometimes help us to access the power that is within us - but they are not the source of that power. The source is within!
It has always come from within - we were just trained to look outside for it because of the reversity of the planets energy field of emotional consciousness has caused human beings to do human backwards. Codependence is a disease of reversed focus - looking externally for that which is available within us. . . . .
. . . . There is nothing wrong with who we are - it is our relationship to our self that is messed up. We are all Spiritual Beings having a human experience. We all have Divine worth as children of The Source. We are all perfect parts of The Source. In our relationship with ourselves on this level we need to learn to open up to receiving / accessing the Love that is our True state of being - that is why we are here. To heal so that we can reconnect with Love.
We can have healthy ties / threads / cords of energy connecting us to other people but only by learning to see ourselves clearly. As long as our self definition is enmeshed with other people's attitudes and behaviors, we are incapable of making True choices about our own best interests. Until we start seeing ourselves clearly, we will continue to be energetically drawn to people who will recreate our childhood emotional wounds.
"Both the classic codependent patterns and the classic counterdependent patterns are behavioral defenses, strategies, designed to protect us from the devastating pain and debilitating shame of being abandoned because we are flawed, because we are not good enough, not worthy and lovable. One tries to protect against abandonment by avoiding confrontation and pleasing the other - while the second tries to avoid abandonment by pretending we don't need anyone else. Both are dysfunctional and dishonest." - Joy2MeU Journal - article The Defensive Dance - Codependent & Counterdependent Behavior
On an energetic level, abandonment means getting unplugged from our energy source. Abandonment feels life-threatening because the cords that bind us to other people, and feed us Life Force energy, gets unplugged and we do not know how to access that energy for ourselves. That is why it is so important to learn to plug in internally, access the Transcendent emotional energy of Love, Light, Joy, and Truth that is available to us within." - The True Nature of Love - part 4, Energetic Clarity

A key line in this is that 'The attitudes, definitions, and belief systems which we hold mentally dictate our emotional reactions.' This is a key point in the Law of Attraction teachings - and it is the Truth. We need to change the intellectual paradigm that is dicating our relationship with life in order to learn to be positive co-creators in our lives instead of the negative co-creators we were programmed to be in childhood. It is vital to change the intellectual programming - it is the only way to change our emotional experience of life. That is one of the reasons it is so important to align with the Law of Attraction - so that we can start creating more positive effect in our lives.

What so many people who are teaching the Law of Attraction don't seem to understand however - or at least don't communicate it in how they are teaching it - is that changing that ego programming now does not make the emotional energy from the past disappear. We cannot just start being in the Now and let go of the past (except in the moment - the more we heal the more ability we have to let go of the past and be present in the moment for more moments of the day.) We have repressed, suppressed, pressurized emotional energy within us in relationship to our emotional wounds. That is why it is so important to do the grief work to release some of that energy - to take power from those emotional "buttons" that dictate our reactions in intimate relationships. We can't just start being spiritual in our relationships with other human beings without healing those emotional wounds from the past - releasing some of that repressed emotional energy.

"If you have ever wondered why it is so much easier to feel Spiritual in relationship to nature or animals, here is your answer. It was people who wounded us in childhood. It is people who our egos developed defense systems to protect us from.

I have told people for years, that the only reason to do inner child healing work is if we are going to interact with other people. If one is going to live in isolation on a mountain top meditating, it will be fairly easy to feel Spiritually connected. It is relating to other human beings that is messy." - Reprogramming our dysfunctional ego defenses


Within the following long excerpt from a chapter of my online book about the terrorist attack of September 11, 2001 I use quote from the "Trilogy" book that is a continuation of the quote from it used above. I also quote several short sections that were quoted earlier but I am doing that because I think if gives some useful context and reiterates some important messages. (I decided to use the same color for the quote from my Trilogy book in this excerpt - and one immediately after it and another one below - for clarity.)

"One of the fascinating things about the Age of Healing and Joy that has dawned in human consciousness is that the tools and knowledge that we need to raise our consciousness, to awaken to consciousness, have been unfolding in all areas of human endeavor over time, and at an accelerated rate in the last fifty to one hundred years. One of the most fascinating things to me, and a key in my personal healing process, is in the area of physics."

Quote from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls
I was so desperate to find some meaning and purpose to life that I was willing to go where I was led in my quest to find a concept of a Higher Power that could possibly Love me. I was open to the messages that were coming my way - and willing to buy Illusions when I discovered it in a grocery store at only 3 months of sobriety. I was later willing to start reading and trying to understand quantum physics when I was led to books like The Tao of Physics by Fritjof Capra and The Dancing Wu Li Masters by Gary Zukov.

And, let me tell you, I hated science in school. In college I took geology to fulfill my science requirement - even though it involved twice as many course hours - because I hated physics and chemistry and such. (I ended up really getting into geology by the way - fascinating stuff.) So, we are talking a major surrender here.

I don't remember now how I was led to studying quantum physics - or when exactly on my Spiritual growth path it happened - but it was a major influence for me in a multitude of ways.

One of the most important ways it helped me, was in my relationship with my own emotions. As I opened up my intellectual paradigm to starting to understand that everything was energetic - and that there were different levels and types of energy - I started to understand the importance of emotions as energy. Eventually I came to understand that emotional energy is generated in a dimension that is not part of the three-dimensional concrete reality that traditional views of science, medicine, etc., are based upon.

I am not going to go into a lot of detail here because as I have stated, understanding how it all works is not important - and it is in reality impossible for human beings to see the whole of the puzzle. What is important is having enough imagination to open up to larger perspectives of life so that we can change our relationship with ourselves.
"None of the details of any of these explanations of the unexplainable should be taken too seriously or literally - it is impossible to describe the indescribable. They are merely tools to facilitate a paradigm shift in consciousness - to help us open up to larger definitions of the Creation than those we were taught in childhood. The goal here is to empower a more expansive context within which to view the dance of life - one which allows for a perspective of human existence that does not include shame and sin." - The Dance of the Wounded Souls Trilogy Book 1 History of the Universe Part IV "Notes to Earthlings"
I am going to use another quote from my Trilogy here in the hopes that it will help you to be open to expanding your intellectual paradigm. Understanding intellectually is not as important as resonating with the memory. What is important is to remember that everything in the puzzle does fit together perfectly - so that you can start being more Loving to yourself. So that you can stop buying into the lies of sin and shame. So that you can stop buying into the arrogant, codependent messages coming from the disease - the damaged ego - that tell you that everyone else is a child of God but there is something defective about you personally. (The sentence that is most important - in terms of emotional process - in this quote is in bold.)
"All of the interactions within the Creation Dream are a result of the basic interaction of energy in motion being resisted by energy that is motionless. This is the primary level of interaction. Out of this interaction are created the energy fields on the sub-sub-atomic level, which interact to form the subatomic, the atomic, and the molecular levels of the cosmic dance of energy that is the dream-movie. On all levels energy interactions take the form of energy vortexes. This the cause of the spiral, or helix, pattern which is the blueprint for the physical universe. It is also the cause of rotation around an internal axis of everything from subatomic and atomic particles (as was stated earlier, what physicists call particles - whether subatomic or the atom itself - are not particles of mass but rather energy fields - bundles of energy - that are energy vortexes.) to the planet Earth itself, which rotates on an axis through the North and South poles. The planet is an energy vortex, the solar system is an energy vortex, (thus planets which rotate on an internal axis rotate around the sun, which rotates on it's own internal axis) the Creation Dream itself is an energy vortex.

What all of the energy vortexes, within the dream-movie, have in common - and what causes different dimensions to exist . . . . . . - is that they "wobble" on their internal axis. This can be pictured as being like a spinning top as it is slowing down. As the top slows down it starts to wobble on it's axis, rather than spinning on a straight vertical axis as it does when at it's maximum spin velocity. The difference between a top and energy vortexes, is that the energy vortexes do not slow down but rather wobble at a constant rate continuously. Within the dream movie there are multiple dimensions because there are different rates of wobble. The Etheric plane, for example, has a different rate of wobble than the Physical plane and thus it's energy is not discernible in terms of any conventional human means of measurement or detection.

Thus everything in the dream-movie is made up of the same basic energetic structure, with the differences between Dimensions and dimensions being caused by vibrational frequency and rate of wobble. This causes each plane of existence, and the different dimensions within those planes, to differ from each other in terms of density. Because of this difference in density, all seven Dimensions can, and do, exist in the same space (as has been mentioned "space," as we understand it, only exists on the densest plane, the Physical.) A way that this can be understood is in terms of something we understand on the Physical plane. Think of the relative difference in density between your physical body vehicle and air. Air is relatively less dense to a degree that you can walk through it without noticing it. The difference in relative density between the dimensions can be greater, or less, than the relative density difference between your physical being and air.

Or better yet, picture the difference in density between yourself and television/radio waves. When you turn on your television or radio you get a picture and sound, or music. That is proof to you that these waves are present in your space - yet you do not perceive them in the normal course of events. The relative density of their atomic structure due to vibrational frequency (even with the same rate of wobble) is such that you would not know that they existed in your space - except that you have a receiver (radio/TV) which is capable of tuning into the appropriate energy frequencies so that they can be manifested in a form that is perceivable. This is an example, not only of how "less dense" dimensions of reality can be present in your space, but also that these different frequencies can be tuned in (manifested) with the proper receiver. Every human being is equipped with the "proper receiver" to tune into the Transcendent vibrational frequencies. The human receiver exists within, and the clearer your inner channel, the more consistently you can tune into the higher frequencies." - The Dance of the Wounded Souls Trilogy Book 1 History of the Universe Part VI

" Quantum physics, the study of the microscopic, the subatomic world, has gone even further. Quantum physics has now proven that everything we see is an illusion, that the physical world is an illusion.

Everything is made up of interacting energy. Energy interacts on a subatomic level to form energy fields which physicists call subatomic particles. These subatomic energy fields interact to form atomic energy fields, atoms, which interact to form molecules. Everything in the physical world is made up of interacting atomic and molecular energy fields.

There is no such thing as separation in the physical world. . . . . . . Separation is an illusion. There is energy traveling at thousands of miles per second in your body right at this moment. There is energy interacting between, passing between, you and the chair you are sitting on, you and the air around you, you and any other beings in the room. . . . . . . We are all part of one gigantic, dynamic dance of energy.

Oneness is the Truth, the scientifically proven Truth, on this physical plane. It is also the Truth on multiple levels through multi-dimensional interrelationships.

All the pieces of the puzzle fit together perfectly according to logical, rational, precise, mathematically and musically attuned laws of energy interaction. When we look at the life experience in a large enough perspective we can remember that.

The mystical Truth that we are all ONE in God has been known through the ages. What we have never had before is the ability to integrate that mystical Truth into human physical, perceptual reality.

We now have the tools and the knowledge that we need to do that. We now have the guidance we need to integrate Spiritual Truth into physical experiential reality. To find a place of balance in the physical world in alignment with Spiritual Truth."

Quote from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls